Fake News Feminist Opinions

VIAGRA® Taken Off The Market Until Men Stop Voicing Their Opinions On Abortion Rights

The FDA has recently deemed VIAGRA® and all of its off-brand generic drugs “unfit for distribution” until further notice, making it nearly impossible for men who use the medication to help achieve an erection to refill their prescriptions. When asked for comment a representative of the government program told reporters:

“After last month’s senate vote resulting in the repeal of Obamacare as well as the defunding of Planned Parenthood, we’ve decided to take action by removing the FDA approval rating from VIAGRA® and all generic drugs containing the same makeup. It is the Food and Drug Administration’s responsibility to protect the public not only by ensuring the drugs and medical devices provided to them are safe to use, but also to ensure that medical procedures are using the safest equipment. The public we speak of does not only include men, and it’s for this reason that we feel the need to get involved. Women not only have a right to receive affordable birth control, cancer screenings, and prenatal care but they also have a right to receive safe abortions. VIAGRA®  will continue to be unfit for distribution until women are given the right to introduce and vote on laws in regard to any and every aspect of women’s health care without the involvement of a man or his opinion.”

Since the release of this news by the FDA less than a week ago, the country’s men have already experienced significant consequences resulting from this decision. Men are fleeing to their doctors in desperate attempt to refill their VIAGRA® prescriptions, however a country-wide recall was performed several months ago, so even those who have the money to bribe doctors and pharmacists are shit out of luck.

Other countries are taking advantage of the friction within our government, selling generic versions of VIAGRA® over the internet for nearly $1,000 per pill. It’s estimated that this price will rise as the black market, which is being fueled by those who failed to discard their pills after their recall, dries up.

One Connecticut man, who wishes to remain anonymous, spoke to us directly about his experience:

“I’d been getting them from my guy for a buck-fifty each. His supply ran out yesterday, so I figured I’d try Craigslist. I spent $800 on three pills, which is a shit-load cheaper than you’ll find them on the web. Turns out, they were fucking sugar pills.”

Men have taken to the streets to express their anger and are violently attacking pharmacy storefronts as well as their employees, oblivious to who’s actually responsible for their disappearing boner pills. Several Planned Parenthood locations have been vandalized as well, however, due to their lack of funding none of the targeted buildings were open to the public and no injuries were reported.

While neither congress nor the president have commented on the FDA’s decision, President Trump took to Twitter to say:

Trump Fake News Tweet

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